Robert E. Lee, Esq.

Divorce is more prevalent among Christian than the rest of the population, including other faith groups, atheists and agnostics, leaving broken hearts, shattered dreams and innocent children in the wake. It is disturbing to see that as our society grows more comfortable with divorce, so do many Christians.  Many churches are unaware of the true number of divorcing couples in their midst because:

• Many couples find it difficult to continue attending service in the same congregation after their marital separation.

• Meeting at church would be awkward, so many leave and find a new church home

• Many probably find that the climate in their church is very negative towards divorcing couples, so they find congregations that are either more accepting of divorce or are unaware of their marital status.

However, God recognizes that divorce will occur, even among His children. A divorced and/or remarried Believer should not feel any less loved by God, even if the divorce and/or remarriage are not covered under the possible exception clause of Matthew 19:9.  God often uses even the sinful disobedience of Christians to accomplish great good.  God is a forgiving God, but wants all Christians to be happy and live together in harmony and peace.  God therefore realized that since marriage involves two SINFUL human Beings, divorces are going to occur.  Since the tragedy of divorce is so widespread that almost every Christian has encountered it not only in his/her churches but also among his/her close friends and relatives, it is vitally important that we seek to deal with it biblically, sympathetically and legally.  It is distressing to see Christians, who on Sunday morning are in Sunday school and church service raising “Holy Hands,” act like heathens in the courtroom raising “Holy Hell”. This is somewhat understandable (not acceptable) since divorce among all people is very stressful and emotional.

In Christian divorce, we are attempting to coordinate the separation of the parties in a way that is “Decent and in Order.”  Christians  should not do as the UNGODLY do and fight like heathens in courts:

1 Corinthians    6:1 – If any of you has a dispute with another, dare the take it before the ungodly for judgment instead                                           before the saints.

                             6:5 – I say this to shame you. It is possible that there is nobody among you wise enough lie to judge a                                             dispute between believers.

                             6:6 – But instead, one brother (sister) goes to the law against another and this in front of UNBELIEVERS!!

Divorce, specifically one in which Parental responsibility (custody), time-sharing (visitation and child support are at issue, can cost the parties thousands of dollars. While admitting that every divorce is different, the overall costs can be astronomical for things like couples/marriage therapy before the divorce, individual therapy for themselves and their children after divorce, custody evaluations, vocational evaluation, moving costs, the cost of selling the marital home, acquiring a new mortgage on another home for one of the spouses and the apartment rental costs for the other spouse.

The Christian divorce neither favors, encourages, promotes nor advocates divorce among Christian in any way.  To be eligible for a Christian divorce, it is mandatory that both parties be Christians and have a church affiliation.  They also are encouraged to seek spiritual counseling prior to seeking the dissolution of their marriage.

The Christian divorce is similar to a regular uncontested divorce of mediation. However, we provide a spiritual consultation prior to engaging in negotiations and mediation.  The Christian divorce is a 4-phase process, one for the Christian husband, one for the Christian wife, and a joint session for both parties.  The final session will be the mediation and preparation of the marital agreement and the presentation before the court.

The Advantages of the Christian Divorce:

• Utilizes biblical and spiritual principle to effect an amicable settlement

• Allows the parties to frame their own divorce degree

• Saves on legal expenses and  other incidental costs

• Faster resolution and avoids lengthy legal battles

• Ease of emotional distress

• Minimizes the psychological and emotions affected on children

• Ensures the continuity of the parenting relationship